<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<rss version="2.0">
   <channel>
      <title>Gallowmere</title>
      <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/</link>
      <description></description>
      <language>en</language>
      <copyright>Copyright 2011</copyright>
      <lastBuildDate>Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:53:10 -0400</lastBuildDate>
      <generator>http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/</generator>
      <docs>http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss</docs> 

            <item>
         <title>The day has finally come!</title>
         <description><![CDATA[Nearly <a href="http://www.gallowmere.com/2009/06/et_tu_1q_1.html">two and a half years ago</a>, I announced that Haruki Murakami AKA God Almighty had a new book coming out titled <em>1Q84</em>. Well today it's been released, and I possess in my hands a copy of it. I've done my best to avoid any kind of spoiler about it over this period of time. And now I have it to go fresh into. Can't wait to delve into it. It's going to be pure surreal heaven!

See everyone in hell!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/10/#000101</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/10/#000101</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:53:10 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>Speech Therapy</title>
         <description><![CDATA[Took a while to hack through these cobwebs with this machete. Struggled clearing through all this dust with an industrial strength leaf blower. But finally, I'm once again deep in Gallowmere's Wazoo. Admittedly, in this realm, time's a wonky element. It doesn't operate the way it does in the real world. But even in Gallowmere time, it's been way too long since I last came here and threw a few lumps of coal black thoughts into the the burner. I'd been distracted, and the flame had been dissipating due to the disappointing events of 2011. This is a year which I can see getting lost in the time vacuum in the near future. Projects of mine that I had high hopes for ended up being unmitigated disasters. As well, I dealt with other series of disappointing events. As [Gomez Calavera] would say, I was "PIIIIIIISSSSSSSED!" But I think it was just the perfect medicine. 

I noticed that I didn't have the exact voice that I'd developed over the writing of [The Obscure Opus]. The style got a lot softer, a lot tamer, as if I was trying to bite with teeth made out of marshmallows. There were many factors for this. I'd been becoming evermore complacent over the last few years, and the piss and vinegar fueling me had diluted a tad. I had been getting too lost in the act of life, and I forgot to don the armour of cynicism, and the shield of misanthropy, but here it is once again in full effect! Also, essay writing at [Miskatonic University] and I guess any academic institution can be quite dry and restricting. Everything has to be tidy and serious. If you've gotten this far with this entry, you'll know that my writing is hardly ever tidy and serious.

But I've taken some time to myself to reassess things. I'm regaining this voice slowly but surely. Lamenting life, and remembering that humanity is rife with charlatans, degenerates, sycophants, and phonies and to take this entire race with a grain of salt, honey, and lemon juice if I want to stay insane. To remember that there's a joke in almost everything. 

I have a project in the works which I've been working on draft after draft to coat it with the tar of darkness and sprinkles of bone dust for the humour. More on it as the project shapes up, and if it goes the way I want, and doesn't become a failure like a couple of the last ones I wrote and/or filmed. There will be more to come.

Gallowmere is about due for an update. I should make it more 2011 compatible. No promises of when I will get to doing that, but sooner than later. And for the five people who actually visit this page, if you ever need a dose of deadpan darkness, I am floating on other places of the intertubes.

For example, I've been on the <a href="http://www.twitter.com">Shitter</a> for quite a while, you can follow me on it through: <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/ToddSGallows">@ToddSGallows
</a>

See you there, but more importantly,

See everyone in hell!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/07/#000100</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/07/#000100</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Sat, 30 Jul 2011 14:47:23 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>Update</title>
         <description>&quot;Mah gurlfren leff me an ah feel like a bum. Ah loss mah job an when ah wank ah can&apos;t cum!&quot; ~ The Vomits</description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/05/#000099</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/05/#000099</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Fri, 13 May 2011 12:10:40 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>The First Haruki Murakami Inspired Videogame?</title>
         <description><![CDATA[I've seen trailers for this game by Atlus titled <strong>Catherine</strong> surfacing about every 1/3 of a year. I just watched this trailer: 

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/D-Fuf4RCRmQ?hd=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Now that I am a bit more accustomed  to the overall weirdness of it, the Haruki Murakami influences are all too obvious. It's Japanese first of all... I mean, shit all those wacky Japanese people think alike!

But in all seriousness, it's about a man living a solitary existence who meets a mysterious woman and gets taken into a netherworld full of wild surrealism, and hard-boiled detective tropes. A world where he is pulled into meeting outlandish characters, and a lot of strange sex. The biggest giveaway, however, are the sheep men, taken right out of <em>A Wild Sheep Chase</em>, and <em>Dance, Dance, Dance</em>.

Besides being heavily influenced by the man I can only dream to be as great of a writer as, it just looks fun, and unique. It's not about grizzled soldiers carrying guns. It's not about wizards and knights. It's something really different, and I dig that. I look forward to it if and when it gets a North American release.]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/02/#000098</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/02/#000098</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Wed, 23 Feb 2011 11:48:22 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>A Taste of The Dark Fruits of My Labour</title>
         <description><![CDATA[I am aware that I have essentially been all talk on this site. For the time that Gallowmere has been around, I have not shared any of my work. Today, I have decided to find a part of [The Obscure Opus] which wound up on the cutting room floor back during the 19th century, and feed it to an auditizer. When voices were needed, it defiled the throats of [Mike P] to supply speech for Mr. Morton (the name has been changed from the character he was supposed to be in the book), and from yours truly as the mad doctor.

You can listen to it: <a href="http://www.gallowmere.com/balderdash/Mortified_2.0.mp3">HERE</a>

I cannot be responsible for the bleeding from the ears this may cause.

Use your ears without fear.

And I will use my eyes when I...

See everyone in hell!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/02/#000097</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/02/#000097</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2011 19:30:01 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>We Need More Sausages!!!!!!</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="/img/sausage.png" "Daddy would you like some sausage? Daddy would you like some sau-sa-ges?" " width="500" height="392" align="left" class="moveLeft"/>I just realized that my last entry had the look and feel of being a last entry; the look and the feel of a final entry. Not the case. I'm still here, and still the same old Todd S. Gallows: cynical, under-emotional, eccentric, a laugh-o-holic, and obsessed with morbidity and surrealism. Exactly a month after my last day of slave labour at [Pages], I got hired to a new job at [Miskatonic University] in the department of [Inhumane Media and Technology] as an office boy/room sitter. I'm not in love with this job, but it's a job and not a career. It's a simple enough job, and I enjoy the environment. Most of the people I deal with are my friends, classmates, and professors anyway.

It's not as inconvenient to my schedule as [Pages] was. It's also not as soul draining and I'm sure I will never have to worry about getting hit on by crazy fat ladies, asked where books for masturbation are, taking wallets out of old men's back pockets, watching babies dip their hands in their diapers and then rubbing their hands all over books, or best yet, almost having to slice open the neck of a piece of belligerent trailer trash.

In my creative life, I haven't done anything with my novel or the screenplay, though I've been having dozens of ideas of things I can do to improve them. But until the end of March, my main focus will be my project for advanced animation. It is an adaptation of one of my favourite Brothers Grimm fairytales <em>The Bird, The Mouse, and The Sausage</em>. In the original tale, a bird, a mouse, and a sentient sausage all live together in a house. Each one has a certain task to fulfill. For example, the sausage prepares the food and then jumps into the pot to roll around the food and give it flavour. But one day, they decide to switch what their designated tasks are. It ultimately leads them to miserable fates. I've said it before, and I will say it until I'm in the grave, I love the Brothers Grimm.

In my love letter to Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, I will be recreating their story, but with three humans instead. Each of the characters have different animation styles, and they decide to switch things up like in the original tale. You can wait and see how things work out for them. I have it all planned out and already started production. I have settled on the fact that this is definitely the stuff I want to do in my future. Not animation, just film making in general. I'm a neophyte in this stuff, especially compared to my friend [Gomez Calavera], but I'll get there eventually. I wanted to take the safe bet of going to law school after this, but I'd probably be even more bored as a lawyer than I was as a book store clerk.

It's the end of the first month of the year, but I never listed my resolutions. Let's face it, resolutions are for breaking. But let's just entertain the thought for a second. What do I want to do this year? I want to read more, I haven't had much time to read at all. The last book I think I read was Felipe Alfau's <em>Locos: A Comedy of Gestures</em>, which was a brilliantly playful and surreal novel that's just as good as somebody like Italo Calvino's work but nobody seems to know about it. I finally got a copy of Matthew Stokoe's novel <em>Cows</em>, which I've wanted since high school. Apparently, it's like <em>The Wasp Factory</em>... put through a meat grinder tainted with e. coli, then pasted back together with steroids, LSD, and the reels of snuff films. It should be a hoot.

Other than that, it's the usual. I want to be more productive. I want to get [The Obscure Opus] out there, and work on the screenplay that was once [The Noxious Novel]. And I'll see if I can work on a few other short film projects. As hectic as it can be doing them, they're a lot of fun.

Well, that's it for now!

See everyone in hell!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/01/#000096</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2011/01/#000096</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Sun, 30 Jan 2011 13:11:42 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>Closing Chapter</title>
         <description>Hey, so guess what! More drama ensued at [Pages] at the beginning of the month, just as I thought things were getting better. I figured, a part-time job isn&apos;t worth the trouble that was coming with it, so I decided to call the regional manager (because my manager was fired and the day after the assistant manager quit) to give him my 2 weeks notice. I worked my last shift a week ago, and now it&apos;s finally set in that I am unemployed. It was an interesting 4 1/4 years, but it&apos;s time to move on to other things. School&apos;s out this month too, so I&apos;ve been living a bohemian life. I did nothing but fuck around and sleep last week. This week, I&apos;ll actually try and do something productive before things resume at [Miskatonic University] in January.

To [Pages], I say: So long, and thanks or all the fish!

And to the rest, I say...

See everyone in hell!</description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/12/#000095</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/12/#000095</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Sun, 26 Dec 2010 11:50:09 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>The Sweet Taste of Oxygen</title>
         <description><![CDATA[Last month, I felt like Arnie at the end of <strong>Total Recall</strong> when he was out in the harsh atmosphere of Mars. The part where his animatronic head started swelling up to the point that his eyes popped out of them; I had no time to breathe. Relentless shifts, left me feeling less like Todd S. Gallows the writer, and more like Todd S. Gallows the corporate slave.

But alas, I've finally been given some liberation. The device with the martian hand print has been activated, and the gust of oxygen has come rolling down the hills. 

I've been off for four days, and I don't have to go back until the end of this week. It doesn't mean that I'm dumping these thoughts while lounging around in Death Valley, sipping hydrochloric acid through a crazy straw stuck in a bull's skull, however. I still have school to deal with, but [Miskatonic] never feels like a burden to me. I have a couple major projects which will involve shooting films, so I will need to be at my me-est.

I am starting to feel this way again. I'm recharged and hopelessly fucked in the head. The static is more like film grain now. I feel creative, and playfully ominous. When I write, I don't just try to dribble out the words necessary to express my thoughts. I take more time with my wording, and look things over. When I look at my work, I don't see alphabet soup, I see brush strokes, empty slots, stencils, puzzle pieces and paste.

I see a lot of that in [The Obscure Opus]. I plan on reworking it over December, and as for [The Noxious Novel], I still won't have a time to finish it off before the end of the year, but I have new plans for it. For my projects, I've been doing some screenplays, and realized it's actually quite fun, and not as rigorous as prose writing. I decided that I'm going to convert it into a script. I'm not counting on it getting purchased. It seems harder to get a movie script purchased than a novel, but it's practice, and I'll do what I can to get it to at least get a foot in the door somewhere some time. It's still a pre-op right now, but eventually [The Noxious Novel] will become [The Mortiferous Movie Script]. I've had ideas which I've gotten partway into and realized that they wouldn't work, but for this one, I was beginning to get a real feel for the concept and the characters. Time (which is ironically part of the concept) just wasn't willing to give me the time of day.

Wow, things are a mess, and it shows. The Stenographersaurus just read back to me the last few lines of this, and I wound up getting tangled up in a spiderweb made of barbed wire and tangled phone cords with piles of laundry and pizza boxes strewn all over.

As for Gallowmere - I still don't have a beat. This site is a mess in a neatly designed package. I love books, movies, writing, ranting, and weirdness, but to properly organize and articulate these things and have a sense of consistency is something I'll need to figure out how to do. I might abandon the design provided by <a href="http://www.lyris-lite.net">The Prince of Darkness</a>, for something new to set up doing what I want to do whenever I figure out what that is.

But before then...

See everyone in hell!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/11/#000094</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/11/#000094</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Sun, 07 Nov 2010 11:20:32 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>Brain Dessicating Acid Rain</title>
         <description>...Thoughts...get...typed...here...

...Somehow...they...they...they...they manage...to... ... ... ooze...in...my...mind...and they...manifest themselves into words... in...this space...

... It&apos;s been a lousy month so far. It started off with special agents with slicked hair, suits, and specs storming [Pages] and removing some employees. Some were shackled and taken away to secret prisons. Unbeknown to me as well as probably most of the people at [Pages] was that secret spy cams had been installed to capture footage of us working to spot corruption and incompetence or at least make allegations of such misdeeds. Or maybe, they simply wanted it to sell on the black market. As well, a few other colleagues have been on vacation. My schedule at [Miskatonic] this year has most of my classes jampacked into 2 days, so that frees my time to work at [Pages], and boy, has my time ever been freed. I&apos;ve been getting scheduled in almost every day this month. This is on top of October usually being the most assignment heavy part of the semester. Not to mention that one of the programs I&apos;m in has no exams for most of the courses, so they instead pile on the amount of assignments you get. When it acid rains, it pours. Every minute I have is spoken for, and then some.

My plan was to have [The Noxious Novel] finished by December... That&apos;s not happening. I can&apos;t remember the last time I touched it, and there was still a fair amount to do. When it comes to life, I&apos;m good at keeping it all together. But I&apos;ve just been feeling drained lately. With everything that has transpired recently at [Pages] recently, having to be there for almost everyday of the aftermath, not getting much time to be alone to really ruminate, and having it effect my academic and already limited personal life, has left me numb. Number (heh... heh... just realized that&apos;s a homograph) than usual, my brain feels totally dried out. I crack open the papyrus to work on [The Noxious Novel] and I just wind up staring at it for hours until I realize I have to go to school, or to work, or go to school then go to work, or go to work then go to school. This part-time job was always meant to be lower on my list of what&apos;s important to me. The top being my own personal projects and affairs, the next being school. My part-time job was to be somewhere in the middle of the list, only beating out doing chores, running errands, and managing expenses. So then why is it that it&apos;s taking up most of my time.

I started having reservations about this store since the end of &apos;08, but now, I am pretty much through with it. I roll my eyes almost every time I have to go in. I never planned on making a career out of it, but I thought I&apos;d easily be able to stick it through until I finished off at [Miskatonic] University. I doubt I can stick with working there for even another hour when I&apos;m there. Half the time I just want to find where the hidden cameras are, yank them out, and dump them in the toilets near the food court so they can watch something which best represents the way that I feel about being spied on.

If and when I do quit, it won&apos;t be any time too immediate because I know my boss [Amber Danielweski] is probably having a worse time than I am with all of this, and I wouldn&apos;t want to screw her over since she&apos;s been nothing but great during my time at [Pages]. If and when I do leave, I&apos;ll not work for a few months, so that I can focus on school and/or personal projects depending on the time of year that I would choose to.

Until then,

See everyone in hell!</description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/10/#000093</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/10/#000093</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 21 Oct 2010 17:54:29 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>Compromised</title>
         <description><![CDATA[My cover has been blown...

I have a confession to make. I am not actually the buoyantly cynical writer/student/bookstore clerk you have all come to love to hate.

This unraveling of my false identity began on Thursday. I was standing at the bus stop after work, when some character, about 6'2" with blond hair, light blue eyes, backwards baseball cap and a scowl. He inquired about my headphones. He asked where I got them and if they were expensive. <img src="/img/headphones.png" "Agency issued listening phones. " width="360" height="457" align="right" class="moveRight"/> The ear wear in question: Sony MDR-J10 h.Ear Headphones as shown in the image there. They cost about 20-30 bucks. I have an mp3 player because I find listening to music or podcasts helps long waits and trips go by that much better. It also drowns out hearing the inane chatter, the crying babies, the arguing couples, the gurgles and groans of the handicapped, and most importantly, it's supposed to let weirdos know I don't want to talk, not having much luck with that... The character stood there staring at me, so I made smalltalk, then he stood there a bit longer and then vanished. That night was overall a disaster. On the bus, some human germ infestation sat beside me sneezing the largest, slimiest sneezes. He had red, gooey bumps all over his mouth. Across from me sat a handicapped man who told me all about how he plans to get a job in construction. When I returned to my padded cell, I just wanted to wash it all off of me and go on with my life.

The next day, I had to take the bus to work again. When I sat down, the character was there. He stared at me. I acknowledged him and he extended his hand. I shook it, not 100% sure why, and at that time, I didn't even know why he wanted to shake my hand. I assumed he thought there was some major bond formed between us from him asking me about my headphones. Because of my stupid job I have become really adept at pretending to be amiable. I listen to what almost anybody says until they run out of breath, I reply with corny jokes where needed, I put on the canned smile, I look for social cues to respond to. It doesn't take much effort to do so.

When I shook the character's hand, he stared at me with his piercing eyes and pointed one finger up and said something. I had to remove my headphones and hear what he said, "We need to talk." I shrugged and said "Uh, OK". I didn't know when he wanted to, and I certainly didn't know what he wanted to talk about. He had some course calendar book for the [Ye Faithful Zealot] religious school that's on the campus of [Miskatonic University]. I thought he wanted to talk to me about God or some shit, or maybe he wanted to sell me something, or maybe he wanted to tell me about a business opportunity. I've had people approach me about all of those things in the past, so I am desensitized to a fault when it comes to that.

The character sat there staring at me. A few minutes passed and he said it again, "We need to talk." He then stood up and said, "Everybody, could I have your attention? I am being followed. <strong>THIS MAN IS A SPY FROM CSIS!</strong> He's been following me! I know he has! He's a spy from CSIS! He's a spy from CSIS!" Of course he was pointing at me. I didn't really react, I just sat there thinking, "For fuck's sake... Once again, weird things happening to me." I looked over to the people beside me and they were just saying, "Calm down." I was saying, "What's going on?" The character then said, "Let me off the bus! Let me off the bus!" So the bus driver obliged and the character bolted from the bus. I looked for him and saw him darting off for a mile before the bus pulled away.

Well you heard the man, I'm a spy, a spy who's so good that he can hide his identity from himself. What an asshole. I admit, I can do things which seem pretty clandestine. I may or may not be mysterious looking since I tend to wear all black, or at least dark clothing, sunglasses, and those ungodly headphones. But still, it was completely uncalled for for him to make that accusation in a public place, and to react that way. All I want to do is live in this little world that I have carved out for myself and be left alone by hoi polloi zombies and whack-jobs alike. So for this shithead to draw unwanted attention to me for bizarre accusations, it's an unforgivable sin. I am going to take the liberty of buying a knife and a cattle prod, so that if I see him again, I can at least have some fun.

Overall, It was a surreal experience, and I'm sure it will make its way into a story in some shape or form someday. I'm sure there will be many more wacky adventures in my life. I hope no more feature this fucktard, but if I do happen to see him, I will have to let my inner sadist out.

Until then,

See everyone in hell!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/09/#000092</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/09/#000092</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Sat, 04 Sep 2010 11:55:49 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>The Brothers Pete</title>
         <description><![CDATA[Time is a concept most abstract here in Gallowmere. From the sparseness of my posts lately and unfulfilled deadlines, it's pretty obvious. And to let you in on a secret, my books don't have timestamps, they are somewhere between anachronistic to just simply "achronistic". I avoid pop culture jokes, or commenting on events from present day in them. Though I may have elements which parallel certain things but take them to new ridiculous planes. But I often throw in objects and elements from time periods a little far back, and also make up technologies, cultural, and political customs which could be considered futuristic.

<img src="/img/pete_and_pete.png" "Pete and his brother Pete. " width="342" height="382" align="left" class="moveLeft"/>In my life, I am like Billy Pilgrim from <em>Slaughterhouse Five</em>; I'm unstuck in time. And right now I'm back somewhere in the mid-90s. A child approaching the double digits, a Canadian living in America, already weird, so I feel like a space alien. I'm home from school, and what's this I see on TV? Two brothers with the same name planting landmines on people's lawns and disguising themselves as lawn inspectors to con people into getting them to remove the mines from their lawn so that the little brother could buy a jetpack. A superhero who might just be a madman who lives in a port-o-john, helping the boy out with a paper route and throwing the paper's so hard they almost go through people's chests. The same superhero later becoming a bowler using a ball that has a hamster in it that he communicates with telepathically. A crossing guard who can make people physically incapable of moving forward by holding up his sign. This is all in one episode of <strong>The Adventures of Pete and Pete</strong>. It instantly becomes one of my favourite shows.

<img src="/img/mine_inspectors.png" "Act now! Stepping on the mines I planted on your lawn could cost you more than an arm and a leg. " width="472" height="384" align="right" class="moveRight"/>It's about two redheaded brothers named Pete Wrigley living in the fictional town of Wellsville in "The Sideburn State". Big Pete is a slightly dorky teenager who deals with sinister teachers such as a psychotic wood shop teacher who attaches different parts to his prosthetic hand (he lost the real one in an accident), and with the typical problems of growing up, figuring out if he wants to date his best friend Ellen, and dealing with his nemesis Endless Mike, a bully who has been in high school forever. Little Pete is who makes the show for me. He's a weirdo and a rebel who wears flannel hats, clothes too big for him, and has a different way of looking at things. He uses his own cuss words like "Blow hole" and constantly tells people to bite his neck hair. He often goes on surreal adventures, such as beating up the ocean, travelling back in time by crossing states during daylight savings hours, and befriending the elusive man who inspects underwear before packaging them.

Their father is pretty much Homer Simpson. He's fat, bald, mediocre at everything, and can be idiotic though well meaning. Their mother is a quirky character who has a steel plate in her head which is featured as a character on the show and is able to receive radio transmissions from around the world.

<img src="/img/artie.png" "Artie: The Strongest Man... IN THE WORLD! GNEAH! GNEAH! UUUUUUNG! " width="467" height="383" align="left" class="moveLeft"/>It has a very quirky and surreal sense of humour which I don't normally see in children's shows, hell, on TV altogether. Children's shows tend to be loud and silly, and deal with asshole kids who are unpopular but who would sell out their friends at the first opportunity to be popular. <strong>The Adventures of Pete and Pete</strong> has a sense of humour sort of like what can be found in <strong>Get A Life</strong> (which I might review later) or <strong>The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai</strong>, though maybe not as outrageous. What makes it work was that though it is so ridiculous, it's played straight. As outrageous as the things are that happen, and as bizarre as the characters are, nobody ever seems to be winking at the screen, or being outwardly jocular in tone. It also had a fairly decent production value. It has a feel which is organic, and kind of cinematic. That's to say, it doesn't seem like it was just shot on a sound stage like the children's shows which will show in the 2000s like <b>Hannah Montana</b> and <strong>iCarly</strong>. And it has some interesting stylistic choices, especially episodes like "Tool and Die", "Halloweenies", and "Pinned!" (an episode where people actually get murdered, and murdered in ridiculous ways).

<img src="/img/tastee.png" "The only thing more frozen than his ice cream is his heart. " width="379" height="369" align="right" class="moveRight"/>While I personally have no heart, the show has some heart too it. Not at all saccharine, but its way of showing the close but sometimes wavering bond between the Petes who are year apart in age is very compelling. They're best friends, but Big Pete often has to deal with teenage bullshit and Little Pete has to deal with the oppression of being a kid. They also often give serious dimension to people you'd never expect, like the weird superhero, a crossing guard who never goes home, and the solitary Ice Cream truck driver whose head is a giant scoop of ice cream.

The musical choices are also pretty interesting. It doesn't go for music which was popular for the time, and it doesn't go for having the hippest playlist. The music mostly matches the quirkiness of the show. Such as the instrumentals of music from Stephen Merritt. The theme song "Hey Sandy" being played by grunge band Polaris on the Wrigley's lawn perfectly encapsulates the '90s. The show itself is the '90s; fuzzy, sophisticated but not high tech, slightly innocent but a lot of strange things under the surface.

Not too many people I know even know of this show. I don't think it ever came on in Canada, but season 1 and 2 are on DVD. Paramount put season 3 on hold, but I have ehrm... taped versions of that one.

I give this show <strong>'95/'90s</strong>

See everyone in hell!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/08/#000091</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/08/#000091</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:59:42 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>Love Exposure</title>
         <description><![CDATA[Sion Sono is quickly becoming one of my favourite directors. His movies blend the subtle sickness and sad undertones of Todd Solondz's <strong>Happiness</strong>, and the over-the-top violence, sexual kinkiness, surrealism, and barmy horror of Takashi Miike's films of the late 90s and early noughts, you know, before he decided to become a jobber. The first movie of his I saw, <strong>Suicide Circle</strong>, got under my skin before I could realize it. And when I watched Strange Circus, I had to get back to it a year after watching the first 10 minutes of it because it had already gotten under my skin. Though of course, when I did watch it, it went in a completely different direction than I had imagined... then a million different more after that. That was the film where I started to feel the love. I've gone on to watch as many movies of his as I can find.

Two weeks ago, I sat down to watch one of his latest releases, <strong>Love Exposure</strong>, and my mind's still smoking and wobbling around like hot rubber. This movie is a four hour long romance/black comedy/action/coming-of-age/religious satire, not particularly in that order, though at times, all of these things at once. 

<strong>Love Exposure</strong> is novelistic in scale with its wide and wild plot which really allows the story to breathe. Its protagonist Yu Tsunoda is a young man whose mother dies only after telling him that the girl he should fall in love with should have the traits of virgin Mary. After becoming a widower, his father Tetsu, a devout catholic, becomes a priest. He is dedicated to his job, and adheres to his duties until a troubled woman literally barges into his life. They have a love affair in a house they rent far away from the church. The relationship goes to shit quicker than relationships usually do, and it sends Tetsu off the rails. His sermons become harsh and accusatory, and he squeezes confessions out of his son. Yu eventually commits transgressions which become increasingly more sinful to win his father's attention. This eventually leads him to getting caught up with a band of troublemakers who get into fights and shoplift. From there, it leads to him getting upskirt photos of girls, flipping and rolling around like a ninja and taking snapshots of their panties.

His father reacts extremely negatively to this, causing Yu to take even more pictures. His pastime eventually leads to him making a bet with one of his friends to see who can take the best upskirt photo. He loses, and has to dress up as a woman and kiss a girl while speaking in an effeminate voice. So dressed up as a woman named Ms. Scorpion, he sees a girl about to be attacked by a gang of thugs. He intervenes, kisses her, sees traits of Virgin Mary in her, and gets his first erection. The girl is Yoko, and it later turns out that this girl is the step daughter of Koike, the woman who had an affair with his father. To complicate things, his father falls back in love with Koike after she chases him down and knocks his car into a lake. Yoko is in love with the woman Yu was dressed up as, but has no interest in Yu himself. Complicating things even further is a creepy girl named Saori who has a profoundly fucked up past. She has been keeping a close eye on Yu, and eventually wedges herself into the relationship, saying that she is actually Ms. Scorpion. This is only the first hour and a half of the movie, and from this point on, it only gets weirder...

Having spoiled enough, I will just say that it leads to a genre hopping journey which involves a sinister cult, shady porn dealers, sex, seppuku, blood baths, and a whole lot more.

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, and it has easily done for me what <strong>Taxidermia</strong>, <strong>Ex-Drummer</strong>, and<strong> Synecdoche, New York</strong> did for me last year in being the most wild and refreshing movies which pulled my intestines out of my navel and smacked me with them. The plot is weird, original, sprawling and unpredictable. The acting is over-the-top. The humour is absurd beyond belief, yet it has real heart (and various other body parts) to it. It had a decent soundtrack. I will always hear the second movement of Beethoven's seventh symphony anytime I think of this movie. The J-Pop wasn't too bad either. I think a couple songs did annoy me.

As for the cinematography, it was decently shot. There weren't any awe-inspiring shots, however, and I'm not too wild about it being shot digitally, and everything does look a little bright and colourful, but it doesn't really contradict the movie's tone. Also, a part involving a penis amputation sort of had its impact dampened by the fact that the penis was blurred out. I understand it's a legal issue as to why genitals both male and female can't be shown in their films, but it's a little disconcerting. And I find the law stupid.

If it's necessary for the theme, or subject matter, parts shouldn't be blurred out for the sake of a stupid law. Not that I personally need or desire to see full frontal nudity in every movie I see. Heaven knows I felt pretty sick after seeing <strong>Shortbus</strong>, but that might have to do with the movie being total trash.

I'm doing it... I'm going off topic big time. But anyway, <strong>Love Exposure</strong>: Brilliant movie. I like movies which are a little messy and loose, and as long as they're not too much so. That's what this movie was, and that's why I found it to be perfect.

<strong>10/10</strong>

See everyone in hell!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/08/#000089</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/08/#000089</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 05 Aug 2010 23:08:24 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>Life During War Time</title>
         <description><![CDATA[Any time that I watch Todd Solondz's Happiness, after sewing up my split sides, I have a knot of anger and contempt for humanity in the back of my mind which I can never easily shake. I like that knot, and I love the movie. The sequel Life During Wartime has left me even angrier than Happiness, but I can't say it's a good anger. It's anger from annoyance.

I have a problem with sequels. The only sequels that I can think of that I really enjoyed and thought were just as good or better than their predecessors are Toy Story 2 & 3, Batman Returns, Terminator 2, and Evil Dead 2. Most sequels tend to take what was good about the first film and run them into the ground. Then there are the ones which take what was terrible about their precursors and make them even worse, like The Dark Knight (there goes my credibility with the people who masturbate to comic books). Life During Wartime falls into the category of turning gold into manure. Maybe manure is too strong of a word, it turned gold into white bread. Nothing happens in it. It is totally inconsequential. 

Life During Wartime was filmed and most likely takes place eleven years after Happiness. It follows the three sisters from its precursor as well as the men in their lives. But for some reason, Todd Solondz recast everybody with different actors. I have no idea why. Part of what made Happiness so memorable besides the shocking content and ink black humour was its performances. Philip Seymour Hoffman as Allen, a pervert who gets off by making obscene phone calls, Dylan Baker as Bill, a pedophile father, Lara Flynn Boyle as Helen, an emotionally stunted author who longs for real suffering (reminds me of somebody), Cynthia Stevenson as Bill's naive housewife Trish, and Jane Adams as Joy, an aimless and hopeless idealist in her early 30s.

Following their lives a decade later, everybody is burnt out. Set mostly in sunny Florida, everything is bleak for the characters. They are all dealing with or asking for forgiveness for the terrible things the men did in the first film. Bill (Ciaran Hinds) has been released from prison, but has nothing to live for. Allen (Michael K. Williams) is married to Joy (Shirley Henderson) and is trying to curb his vice. Trish who was once worry-free and upbeat has become wary and burnt-out, on a countless amount of meds, and is trying to date again. Joy, while dealing with the discovery that Allen hasn't changed, is haunted by Pee Wee Herman who plays her boyfriend who had committed suicide in Happiness. And Helen (Ally Sheedy doing a grating impression of Lara Flynn Boyle's portrayal) does fuck all.

The movie worked in that it was definitely bleak and depressing. Visually it all has a murky tone despite being set in sunny Florida and the conversations are filled with awkwardness and gloomy dialogue. However, the movie is ultimately a failure. I don't know what Solondz's intention was for having an entirely new cast, but it's completely jarring. I'm not against this direction being taken in a movie, it worked in his previous film Palindromes where the main character, a 13 year old girl constantly changed size, age, and race in different scenes. However, that was a standalone movie, and the constant changes helped in telling the story and work in that contained universe. It makes the movie to me seem more like a fantasy sequence than a sequel. 

Missing from this movie are the disturbing shocks, the painful humour, and sheer cynicism splattered against a Norman Rockwell backdrop. This has all been supplanted with remorse. And indeed, the way characters in that hack Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins constantly "philosophized" about "fear", characters in Life During Wartime features characters constantly musing over "forgiving and forgetting". Also missing is a story. Nothing seems to happen for an hour and a half. They also injected a lot of Judaism into the film which I don't remember Happiness having at all. I don't remember the sisters being Jewish, but in this one they dwell on it a lot. Trish wears a Hebrew Chai symbol on her necklace, makes a big deal that her boyfriend is Jewish, constantly refers to Israel and her son is preparing for his Bar Mitzvah. I'm not against Judaism anymore than I am against any other Abrahamic religion. To be fair, it's a lot more innocuous than Christianity, and more pleasant than Islam than Islam. My problem is that I don't recall any sign of Judaism in happiness, and this one hits you over the head with it. It's what made A Serious Man so abstruse for me.

A lot of people who see Todd Solondz movies say that they would never want to watch them again because they are so depressing. I can more than handle depressing material, but I don't think I will ever watch Life During Wartime ever again because it was so disappointing.

<strong>5/10</strong>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/07/#000088</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/07/#000088</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:50:18 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>Where am I?</title>
         <description>I don&apos;t know where I am. If somebody can find me, please rescue me. There will be a cash reward.

Oh wait, here I am! Alive and well. I&apos;ll go through a few updates as I dust off the dirt and branches I&apos;d been buried in.

1) I moved into my own private padded cell. In this cell, nobody can hear my screams, and better yet, the screams of my victims.

2) I got accepted into that Multimedia program at [Miskatonic University]. I&apos;ll be taking courses in graphic design, digital video, and animation. There are other courses later on that I would like to take like Digital Rhetoric, and the course on videogames taught by [Dr. Macintosh], who I&apos;ve had before. My degree will be a combined Honours in Multimedia and English. I am well aware that a bachelor&apos;s degree is less useful than tissue paper, which is why I am not getting that one alone. But my hopes are that the program will help me be a better writer, and more analytical reader. Though I am wary of the fact that getting too analytical can suck the fun right out of any medium. I fall somewhere in between, I guess.

3) I&apos;ve been sneaking in as much as I can for [The Noxious Novel]. I haven&apos;t gotten much done because my schedule had been hectic over the last month, but the realm of Gallowmere is slowly coming back into order. Or whatever order this world can be in.

So there&apos;s that. Soon, once I get my workstation in my cell set up, I will recommence doing my daily doodles. Until then...

See everyone in hell!

</description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/06/#000087</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/06/#000087</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:40:37 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
            <item>
         <title>EfFacebook</title>
         <description><![CDATA[My friend [Spaghetti Western] used to post blogs online of his misadventures in the funerary world, mishaps at [Bric-a-Brac University] or hilarious tirades about everything else on planet earth. Eventually he stopped. I asked him why one day, itching for some vitriol to tickle my funny bone. He said he still did sometimes, but had been posting them on Facebook. I heard that name floating around quite often. And so I said, "Alright... You got me... I'll join this Facebook everyone speaks of." Later that day I did. What started as reading rants (which he eventually gave up on doing), ended up as me thinking up names of people I'd known in the past, and snooping to see what they were up to. There were groups like "Charles Bronson Fan Club", "Atheist Libertarians", "The Toxic Waste Guy in Robocop is awesome!" I could join which I started collecting for the sake of collecting. All was fine and dandy for a while.

Eventually, I started noticing how overwhelming it started becoming to me, and how annoying its prevalence had become. Wherever you see someone doing inconsequential texting, beside them you'll see somebody else on Facebook, updating their status with mundane details. Facebook started adding applications. Application, after application, after application. People passing them around like STDs in the early 80s.

I started feeling uneasy about how much people were putting out there, and how often they were. I alluded to my reservations of cellphones and texting, and I admit, I'm a bit of a Luddite. I like technological advancement, but I know that in most cases, if it's an advancement made for mass use, it becomes trivialized. This is why I project the 21st century predicted in the science fiction of the late 20th century will never come to be. Anything significant will not be in demand or get funding, and shiny objects which cater to the mundane needs of the hoi polloi will totally get abused and commodified.

Besides being a Luddite-Lite, a LudLite, I like privacy, a lot. I haven't reached the point where I burn my paper trail, file my fingerprints off, obscure my face in public, and go to live in a log cabin in the woods... yet. But I don't like to put myself out there. I'd rather not even let most people know the last time I sneezed let alone any other personal detail. My life isn't anything worth writing about... so why speak about it? And so for status updates, I usually had random statements or quotes.

For a couple years now, I've had my account set to "deactivated". I've snuck on a few brief instances, maybe once per quarter year if that, to see or read certain things posted by people who tell me to. Or sometimes I go into creepbook mode and "vet" certain people. Not something I can say I'm proud of, but we all have our dark secrets, most of them just seem to be posted on your Facebook accounts.

I had mostly been sitting with a sleeping account because I could never find how to delete it. But then the face of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg said something which creeped me out. He said:

<blockquote>"People have really gotten comfortable not only sharing more information and different kinds, but more openly and with more people. That social norm is just something that has evolved over time."</blockquote>

What the Zuck? Count me out. That was a while ago, but the news only hit me recently. That was enough for me to finally go on <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/05/14/financial/f135550D39.DTL&tsp=1">Google</a> (a company which ironically has its wacky ideas on how to treat privacy) and find out how to close it down for good. I found <a href="http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account">this link</a>.

That was over a week ago, and now I have to wait another week for it to finally be gone. I still have to wonder how gone it will really be, but I'll just have to keep my eyes open. I don't count this as a victory against Big Brother. Obviously there's so much out there about me and of me that they could make a digital clone of me, and nobody would know any different. But this is a small step into the caves. Until then...

See everyone in hell, and not on Facebook!]]></description>
         <link>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/05/#000086</link>
         <guid>http://www.gallowmere.com/2010/05/#000086</guid>
        
        
         <pubDate>Tue, 18 May 2010 22:23:21 -0400</pubDate>
      </item>
      
   </channel>
</rss>

