Todd S. Gallows
Self-proclaimed founder of the land of Gallowmere, freak of nature, part-time lunatic, and aspiring author of black humour fiction. Currently unpublished. Desperate to change status.

WARNING: This page contains paltry facts about what tickles Mr. Gallows's fancy. Read only if you have nothing better to do.

Interests: Eccentricity, religious lunacy (for shits n' giggles), politics, individualism, cigars, books, movies, black humour, black clothes, macabre art, B-Movies, transhumanism, art of writing, reading, cooking with the mangled remnants of soy synthesized animals, lots of solitude, oddballs, idiosyncrasy, and not much else.

Dislikes: Religious lunacy, (when the jokes die down an it just annoys), meat, collectivism, most cookie cutter mainstream media, anything sappy, germs, banal reality, more will come to mind...

Influences: Kurt Vonnegut, Roald Dahl, Edward Gorey, Haruki Murakami, David Lynch, Tim Burton, Franz Kafka, David Cronenberg, Takashi Miike, The Brothers Grimm, Daniel Handler.

Favourite Books: Cat's Cradle, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Hard Boiled Wonderland and The End of The World, Kafka on the Shore, American Psycho, Hannibal, The Wasp Factory, Brothers Grimm Fairytales, The Gashlycrumb Tinies, The Basic Eight, The God Delusion, Geek Love, Infinite Jest.

Favourite Movies: Videodrome, Naked Lunch, Barton Fink, Mulholland Dr., Synecdoche New York, The Silence of The Lambs, A Tale of Two Sisters, Delicatessen, The City of Lost Children, Idiocracy, Requiem for a Dream, Batman Returns, Ichi The Killer, Gozu, Battle Royale, Very Bad Things, Sweeney Todd, Taxidermia, Ex Drummer, Baxter.

(Guilty Pleasures) Bad Taste, Cabin Fever, The Dark Backward, Evil Dead II, State Property, Story of Ricky, Street Trash, Troma Movies, Schwarzenegger movies of the 80s, Charles Bronson action movies.

Favourite Musicians/Bands: Rasputina, Mike Patton, Voltaire, Faith & The Muse, Switchblade Symphony, Lemon Demon, Wumpscut, Scarling, Blonde Redhead, Cursive, Boards of Canada, Depeche Mode, Vanessa Mae, Swingle Singers, Hans Zimmer, Danny Elfman, Howard Shore, Arvo Pärt, Beethoven, Holst, Shostakovich, Mozart, Brahms, Handel, Tchaikovsky, Wagner, John Coltrane, Wes Montgomery, Dave Brubeck, The Gothic Archies.

Religion: Atheist/Bokononist

Life

Todd S. Gallows has gone out of his way to make sure that his life remains shrouded in mysteries within mysteries, and enigmas embedded in distorted deceptions. Not much can be found on this elusive and reclusive man's existence. It can't even be determined if he's a man at all, or if he exists. He refuses to say much about himself. He makes it a point to not reveal himself, convinced that in some twisted reverse solipsistic way that if he doesn't believe he exists, no one else will believe he exists either.

Only by rummaging his trash, by sifting through his burnt and tampered records from schools, orphanages, and federal offices and from interviewing the limited people he's encountered (and who survived) can certain extrapolations be made.

Early years

Mr. Gallows hails from Ontario, Canada, where he has stated his childhood was both twisted and uneventful. An emotionally bankrupt middle child he counted on his thoughts and imagination to keep himself from being bored stiff. He was indifferent to the ordinary day to day events of people's lives but always had an affinity for the outré. His earliest and most beloved memories are of his oldest brother finding his lost hamster after it had been missing for weeks buried beneath the cushion of a couch, "a furry pancake," as he called it. Other fond memories include watching B-rated horror movies with his senior brother who would rewind scenes over and over again, telling him "This is real life!" This apparently shaped his humour and fixation on the dark and absurd which he believes to be part of his DNA.

Young Todd moved around to America, Perdition, and back to Canada in his teens. Not much can be found on these years, and how well he fared. He has stated before that life in America and in Perdition solidified his cynicism and completely stunted him emotionally, but also gave him "oodles" to write about.

Writing Life

Mr. Gallows has been writing stories for as long as he can remember. He had been writing stories before he could even spell. However, it was only in his senior year of high school that he began to take it seriously. For an assignment he had to write a story in his selected genre (black humour, respectively). He also caught wind of a first time author's contest. So, to kill two birds with one stone, he wrote a novella roughly over one-hundred pages long for his assignment which he would then send to the contest. To make a long story short, he abandoned the idea of submitting the story because he considered the draft to be shit.

From then on, he has been obsessively polishing that turd, getting the little nuts and bits of corn out, and it is actually becoming something respectable. He plans to submit it to publishers. His aspirations are to become the prime connoisseur and purveyor of all things bizarre, and blackly humourous.

Personal life

Mr. Gallows proclaims his life story as not being a "kiss and tell". When asked to divulge personal details, he nearly went on a murderous rampage. When sources were consulted, Mr. Gallows could be seen trailing journalists. Journalists who found too much out about him have wound up disappearing. The most that we have been able to find out is that he is a student at [Miskatonic] University. He advises you to fill in the blanks yourself, if it makes you happy.