Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Politically Incorrect: Part Deux
So I haven't espoused my political opinion in a while. I guess because Gallowmere is a Monocracy, there is no room for politics. Still I can't help but keep up with the political news in its neighbouring regions. Canada has an election coming up, apparently. Bland signs are all over my lawn. I don't know how they got there. They're all over the city. Roads and buildings are just made up of them. It's election day here, and I don't think I'll be casting a vote for any of the parties. I concede that I'm a total ignoramus in regards to Canadian politics, but the parties shake no earth form me in either way. The Conservatives are weak. The Liberals are a joke. And the New Democratic Party gives me nightmares of socialism.
I couldn't call myself a liberal. I mean, I'm fairly liberal on social issues. I'm all for abortions, freedom of speech, keeping the government out of people's private lives, ending the war on drugs, gay rights, fair representation in courts, legalizing prostitution, stem cell research, and separating church and state. You see, while most of those things have nothing to do with me - I don't do drugs, plan to abort fetuses, I'm not gay or bi, and I don't have any desire to get down and dirty with hookers - I'm at least big enough to realize that just because I don't subscribe to those ways of life doesn't mean I should prohibit others from that. They harm no one. And as for "killing babies", it's a very nuanced issue. are we going to start making it illegal for men to misfire into condoms and for women to menstruate?
It's hard to pigeonhole where I sit politically. I can't say I'm a liberal because I'm fiscally conservative. I'm against affirmative action and would like to do away with welfare. I know taxes are necessary, but they could at least be cut in half by eliminating unnecessary government programs which hardly work most of the time. While I'm a minarchist, I don't think government should be done away with, and I think they need to be able to meddle in corporate affairs. A state ran by big business (which we're half way on our way to) would probably be less free than what western society is now while being run by big government. The only things which would be free in a Corporatocracy would be the advertisements tattooed onto our skin. In [The Obscure Opus] I take jabs at big government, amongst other things. In one part, I have a joke about a Senator proposing an oxygen tax, but I'm sure that in a Corporatocracy, they would race to that ASAP and capitalize on oxygen. First, maybe by saying it's sports oxygen with electrolytes, then they would figure out a way to have control of all oxygen and sell it in canisters in stores and/or have oxygen pumps which have to run into homes and bill people for it. In a Corporatocracy, instead of being taxed to death, we'd have to own stocks in companies which big CEOs could use to go skiing and get handjobs in Thailand.
But while I'm all for people being free to do whatever the hell they want as long as it isn't directly affecting or harming anybody else or impinging on their freedoms, when it comes to certain issues, especially law enforcement, I'm a fascist. I strongly support the death penalty and think criminals should be punished even more severely than they are now. Some prisoners, like Canada's Paul Bernardo get to live quite lavishly given the circumstances... and off of our tax dollars. If I had it my way, the worst criminals would get punishments of medieval proportions. They would get fed to pigs, drawn and quartered, given weights on both legs and forced to sit on a sharp edge, given 1000 cuts, covered in honey then sent into a room full of bees, et cetera, et cetera. And as I have mentioned in other posts, I would restrict who could or couldn't have kids, because, as neocon [Spaghetti Western] says, "If you can't feed, don't breed!"
On war, I'm a moderate. I believe sometimes war's called for, but not when a bunch of gristleheads just want to flex their cocks, as is what happened with this highly irresponsible war in Iraq. George Bush of 2000 had it right (shockingly) when he said that military force should only be used when it's in America's "national and strategic interests". That's it, plain and simple. The military should be used to defend the nation, and not just for the sake of action, and not to intervene in other countries affairs. America's going to shit, but they keep worrying about the other countries they have their thumbs in. It's like somebody whose house is going into foreclosure, roof's caving in, plumbing and power are all screwed up, has a rat infestation, whose daughter's a whore, son's a juvenile delinquent, having marital problems, but is concerned with counseling their neighbours' families and investing their money into the homes of everybody else except their own. Makes about as much sense, though of course with the American government there's the agenda of looting oil, and nation building, as well as meddling with a religious war that's been going on for centuries between Muslims and Jews.
I often identify myself as a Libertarian, but ideally, I'm a nihilist; it'd be better if nothing existed at all.
So less than 24 hours to make a decision (if I make one at all) and I have no idea where I stand. I might very well vote Conservative, or I might write in "Barack Obama" or "Ron Paul". I can't make it through Canadian news for more than a minute, and the political ads I've seen here are... cute. I've written it off. I'm not proud of this or anything. When something fails to catch my interest nothing in the world can force me to change my mind. As for America, that's another story.
I'm hooked on this shit. I can't not pay attention to American Political news and the beef of it being this Presidential race. So much has been going on. It's been an exciting time, but has taken a farcical turn ever since Senator John McCain picked Sarah Palin. What's there to know about her? She's the governor of Alaska, wife of a secessionist, is a Christian whose pastor is a crazy Kenyan who hunts witches. She enjoys shooting wolves from helicopters, and taking her little kids to shoot the heads off of wildlife. She abuses her power by firing people over personal vendettas, and bans books in small town libraries which promote views and lifestyles which don't tickle her fancy. She also doesn't read newspapers, thinks she has strong foreign policy credentials because Alaska's near to Russia, is a puppet for spouting out neoconservative views force fed to her by Schmidt and Rove, and is highly anti-intellectual. She's so anti-intellectual that she makes George W. Bush look like Socrates. This woman is a disaster.
I thought the idea of her as a choice was initially absurd, but I thought maybe there was something McCain knew that we didn't. Though, everyone seemed to know about Troopergate, and Juno from Juneau before he did. Nobody can dispute the fact that it was a purely cynical and political choice. He wanted a woman to snatch up bitter Hillary Clinton supporting feminazis who just wanted to see a woman in office, and to strengthen the conservative base with her "small town" values. She ignites holy wars in the pants of every doughy social conservative man in America as well as in the pants of [Spaghetti Western] in Canada. I guess she is fairly attractive for a 44 year old mother of 4 children and a retarded poster child for the pro life movement is who they would like to have whipping their pudgy asses with a crucifix while the moose loaf's in the oven. I wonder, if Hillary Clinton won the primary, and Obama supporters of African diaspora were embittered, would he have chosen Konservative Kristian Kook Alan Keyes to be his running mate?
I gave this - I'm sorry, there's no other word for her - bitch a chance as I did for most candidates of both parties this election. Her big moment was the RNC acceptance speech she gave. I anticipated that since this woman is new to the scene, she would come in humbly, make a strong case for herself and address her qualifications, paint herself as a political prodigy, introduce Americans to Alaska politics and not subscribe to partisan bullshit. I couldn't have been more wrong. She proved to be a Class A bitch. She gave a snarky speech hurling school yard insults at "her opponent" the whole time with horrid smirk she always has plastered on, and stabbing her fingers into the air. She looked like a goddamn villain out of a Disney movie, especially with those Tina Fey glasses and her beehive hair. It was decided that people would flock to her, an unknown for berating Barack Obama, somebody who's been on the national stage for the last few years and has overcome a lot more than she has. She had so many skeletons in her closet, and she had the audacity to come out with that arrogant speech.
Fortunately team Obama-Biden are kicking ass and taking names at the moment. They couldn't have asked for the economy to be in turmoil at a better time. The gap widens in the polls, every day another state lights blue on the electoral map, and McCain looks more and more like an erratic old coot while Obama's veins run with arctic water. After Ron Paul lost badly to John McScary, it was Cool Barry's level headedness that made me first decide to really give this candidate a chance. I don't agree wholly with his views as I have said before. I agree with his views far more than I do with McCain's, and now the thought of Sarah Palin going into office is enough to send a "cold chill up my spine" as lizard queen Cindy McCain once said. I mostly believe that he would be a good if not great President on his sense of discipline, levelheadedness, intelligence, and ability to find common ground.
Will Obama leave this world spic and span after (should all things go well) two terms are up? Not a chance, but I do think he can reverse the mess Bush has made, and re-earn the respect that America once had worldwide. I think he will inspire many people of all races to see that it's not such a bad thing to be smart. I think an Obama era will launch the 21st century into the direction that it was supposed to be headed. Unlike Chris Matthews, I don't get a thrill up my leg when I hear Obama speak, but my admiration of his character can't be denied.
And recently, I've noticed that some of my favourite authors are starting to jump on the Obama bandwagon as well. Daniel 'Lemony Snicket' Handler pretty much has a crush on Obama, and recently it came out that Christopher Buckley, a fellow Libertarian and the son of the late Conservative stalwart William F. Buckley has endorsed Obama. Christopher Hitchens has as well. Their opinions wouldn't sway mine either way on who I'd support, but knowing this makes me like them more, and also creates the feeling of finding out that your favourite High School English teacher is best friends with your Political Science Professor (substitutions may apply).
I see him winning, and being spectacular. All signs point that way, but I won't rest until January 21st. The Neocons can pull any kind of trick within the next 21 days. Time will tell. I'll be hoping for the best. If Obama loses to McCain, and McCain dies and leaves the country he puts first to Sarah Palin, every American who voted for them should be made into slaves for the Chinese, and the states that went to McCain should be made into giant sweatshops to pay off the their debt.
