Friday, January 18, 2008

How mean art thou?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the most misanthropic of them all?

Apparently I'm not.

I scored a 60% on that fun and innocuous web quiz. 60% is certainly misanthropic, but I won't be winning any awards for cynic of the year being 40% off the mark. What a bummer...

On a side note, there may be a treat in store for me. The other day, a couple customers came into [Pages] bookstore. They've been regulars for years. They're an eccentric old German couple. They always shoot the shit with my boss [Amber Danielewski], and often bake cookies for the staff. They asked her that day what cookies she'd want them to bake for her. She mentioned some kind of cookie that has raspberry filling in the middle. The wife replied, "Oh, well we only make those around Easter." [Amber Danielewski] understood. Then the wife of the couple gleefully added, "We like to put little Swastikas on them!" [Amber Danielewski] said, "Oh, well I don't want them." She went on to explain that Nazis made her relatives dig their own graves then used guns and bullets to knock them into them. The husband of the couple's response was, "Oh, you need to get over it!" Then there was long awkward silence...

Who knows what will happen, maybe by some freak accident, they will forget or think my boss was joking, and they may drop the cookies off. They'll more than likely be in the trash before I get in, but I'll snatch them up anyway and wash them down with phenol.

Nothing lifts away the dread of not being the world's biggest misanthrope like cookies smothered with hate symbols!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Some rules are made to be broken.

So on new years day, I made a few resolutions. "So what?" most may say. Making New Year's resolutions much like birthday wishes and one night stands are just things which are good for the moment, but should be forgotten right after. I, however, plan to stick with mine, my New Year's resolutions, I mean.

Furthermore, I decided that I may have to break one of them. The resolution in question is this one:

2) Read more

I am going to have to put reading on hold. I'll still be doing reading of some kind because classes have started back at [Miskatonic University]. But I won't be doing any other extra curricular reading anytime soon. All is not lost though, I'm breaking Resolution 2 for the sake of strengthening my chances of following through on Resolutions 1 and 3. Here's what I said:

1) Finish my novel

Not having my mind taxed by the extra burden of having to read will free up a lot of head space, and help me with prioritizing. So far, it's been working. I feel less cluttered in the noggin. Getting work done on a regular basis helps me to fulfill Resolution 3. That was:

3) Talk more about writing

Makes enough sense, no? Having work done will enable me to talk about my book and writing more frequently. Over the last few days, though it's felt like running barefoot up a steep hill, I've been able to meet my quota of 2000 words per day. I've been keeping up with it so far *knocks on wood*. If all things go well, I should have this all done by January 30th. This will be the completion of draft... I honestly lost count, maybe this is the 8th or 9th. For the sake of it, let's say 8.5.

So that's not too bad. Plus the quicker I get this book done, the quicker I'll be able to afford the time to read as I please. When I have time to read, and when I finally finish churning out a good enough draft of [The Obscure Opus] then all things will go well, and by going well, I mean total misery, doom, gloom, and anarchy for the world.

See everyone in hell!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Gallowmere 2008 Edition

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... Gallow New Mere! So another year's come, it's called 2008. Nice to meet you, 2008.

I can't say I miss 2007. It was a pretty useless year for me, my head was full of TV static for a good chunk that year. Hating it so much, I figured I should celebrate its demise. I decided that a few symbolic exercises were called for. I grew out a beard for most of December, it was thickening a bit, and covered a good deal of my face. By the end, I really started getting sick of it. So as the year came to an end, I chopped it all off with an ax. I also got a 2008 Edward Gorey Calendar, and tossed the 2007 one into the fireplace. I watched as all the clouds of smoke rose from it in the forms of the dark, etched, and ethereal images which embodied the calendar. It expelled the haunting cries of the swooning woman in the MYSTERY! intro. Finally, and most sacredly, I drank myself into oblivion. I tagged along with my party animal friend [Bong Brewski] as he went to some random house party full of strangers under the influence. It wasn't too long before I found myself being stranger and under the influence. I had quite a bit and, of course, found everything people said and did extremely hilarious. I'm proud that I didn't dance, Lord in fairyland knows that I couldn't dance to save my life. And off on a little tangent, I would love to see the type of situation where my life would actually depend on me dancing.

The music there, like most music, just sort of went in one ear and out the other. Mostly hip hop, 80s dance music, techno, and Cambodian music. I guess it's stuff to dance to. I couldn't imagine people getting all juiced up and dancing wildly to the stuff I listen to. The stuff I listen to would probably only be fitting if they were played at funerals or something. So we were there, they did the countdown thing, I stayed a couple more hours, and went home.

I know in essence, all that's happened is that another day's passed, but things feel different, for now at least. I can get quasi-superstitious about things like this I guess. Though I still always have that heavy sense of skepticism I wear on my sleeve to hold me back from getting too carried away. And since I get so superstitious about stuff like this, I'll impose myself some new years resolutions.

1) Finish my novel - Time to fucking finish this beast. It's been waaaaaaaaaaay too long. Way too long.

2) Read more - I have enough books in my padded cell to be responsible for taking out a rain forest. I've only read a fraction of them, so I've got to get back into the habit of reading more. I keep getting the phobia that I'll "subconsciously" plagiarize other writers like that literary cunt bag Kaavya Viswanathan. I don't think I would be that stupid, and I think it's important for me to read to observe the techniques employed. Techniques I should be trying to shamelessly steal from and make my own as opposed to content. My other problem is that when I read, I feel like I'm having an affair on my novel, like I should be working on that, toiling with my own imagination rather than delving into other people's. I hope to be a little less neurotic about that.

3) Talk more about writing - I should get more into the habit of letting it all hang out and talk about where I am with my novel, which for now, I'll still reveal here as [The Obscure Opus]. Doing stuff like that should give me a reality check on where things stand with things. I should actually add features to the musings section of Gallowmere.

4) Get healthier - This one isn't as much of a biggie. I mean, I'm not a biggie, and I doubt I'm heading on that path since I'm a vegetarian, and I don't really have a massive appetite. Nonetheless, I should work out and go running more. Haruki Murakami (who I'm not ashamed to say is my idol) says he jogs every day after writing, and it's what helps him have the stamina he needs to engage long bouts of writing, and accessing the many "drawers" in his deep imagination. It did work for me when I kept up a running regiment. I have to get back into things again.

5) Be more gregarious/be more reticent and solitary - I can do without people for great deals of time. Solitude is my best friend at times, which, only until a few years ago, I discovered wasn't a common thing. I didn't have much time to be alone last year. There was always something to do, or someone around, and that made my head feel all clouded. When I get a good period of peace, quiet, and solitude, my thoughts get to flourish. Still, I need to also be more gregarious and be in the company of others and in their contact so that I never get embarrassingly "out of touch". So I'll have to work on a balancing act for that one.

That's all I can think of for now. Whether or not I'll succumb to the most natural aspect of human nature (i.e. failure), only time will tell. This year could throw anything in my direction. I look forward to all the crazy global fuckups which will take place over the year. I wonder if we'll manage to actually blow ourselves out of existence... Oh wait, conspiracy nut forecasts say that's 2012. We'll see what actually happens.

Ladies and Gentlemen place your bets! All or nothing!

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