Friday, October 12, 2007
Canadian Currency Conundrum
So the Loonie is on the rise. And no, I'm not referring to yours truly. I mean the Canadian Dollar. It's actually worth something. The currency is currently worth 1.022 USD. Which is fascinating, since 5 years ago, 2002 it was worth only 0.620 USD. My sense of patriotism comes out of the closet at times like this. It's good to see that the country I happened to be born in has an economy that's improving, and also, it gives our arrogant neighbours down south less to look down upon us about. Though, I admit, Canada will never be able to beat America's astronomical crime rate.
That said, I am a bit bummed out about this. Canada's publishing industry, from what I have gathered, is shit on a maple leaf. The publishers I have looked up usually pay minimal, and they usually want books which are "distinctively Canadian". I have no idea what it means to be distinctively Canadian. I know nothing about the Canadian cultural identity. I've lived without a culture this far into my life, and I don't think I'll be breaking the tradition any time soon. But to what I understand, Canadian material is usually tame and anemic, like a dying tranquilized and harpooned polar bear. Usually boring stories like impoverished Quebecoise, prairie incest, or other"poignant" but insular niches like homosexual Canadian Arabs with cerebral palsy. Those seem to be what people gobble up, but that stuff grabs my attention about as much as a can of ground maple leaves would. I tend to speak broadly about things, so of course, I am aware that there probably are fantastic works of literature from authors who happen to live in Canada. And there could even be stories about British Columbian lumberjacks which are actually interesting, but for the point of argument, I have yet to come across any. I also like American publishers because they tend to offer a lot more for advances than Canadian publishers do, two to three figures more than they do. But now, with the Canadian dollar being worth more, if and when I do receive royalty cheques and advances from the states, I won't be getting as much on each dollar as I would have in 2002. So that sucks.
Which allows me to cleverly segue into the current imbroglio regarding prices of books in Canada. It's been adding more variety to my shifts at [Pages] bookstore.Customers, by the shift, are increasingly coming up pulling up the same routine. They unsheathe their worthless American dollars slam them on the counter with the books or magazines they want to buy and say, "So if I give you this money, what happens?"
I'm often tempted to say, "I will tell you 'thanks', pocket the money, and ask you to pay for the book." But of course, I'm not allowed to be overtly rude to customers, it has something to do with not discouraging them to waste their income at my particular store. Go figure. When I do feel like being cheeky, I tend to use the subtle approach of dead pan sarcasm, either that, or I toss their change on the floor and have them pick it up as I laugh saying "oops" pretending to laugh affably, when in fact, I'm laughing maliciously, watching them bend over slowly, hearing their bones crack, and hearing them pant and wheeze in poor health as they frantically fumble for their change. Anyway, regarding people trying to pay the American price, I say, "Sorry you would still have to pay something equivalent to the Canadian price."
They get irate at times, and say things like, "Well I'm just going to put some miles on my car, fill up on $50 of gas, head to the states to get books, how about that?!" They come out saving that extra 5 bucks CAD, good for them! Then, apparently, some unscrupulous news hack from the [Sordid Spectacle] wrote up an article saying that bookstores are legally obligated to allow customers to pay American Prices. I haven't the foggiest idea where that charlatan got that cockamamie theory. There are various reasons that items, and books in particular cost more in Canada than they do in Americaland. I'm not in defense of the prices being so high, God and the Tooth Fairy know that I would rather pay the cheapest prices for books over anything else. However, if that happened right away, I would probably be paid less, or lose my job.
Reasons why prices can't just overnight be changed:
- The publishers set the prices months before books even reach stores.
- [Bookshelves Inc.] purchases the books from the distributors at Canadian prices.
- The prices must balance out with the sales ratios in Canada. There are way more Americans than there are Canadians, and thus, more of a need for products, hence, they can be sold at lower prices due to the wider distribution.
I am not the spokesperson for [Bookshelves Inc.]. I admit, I don't know the company's operations through and through, but from what I know, I'm not too fond of the CEO, [Jessica Weiss]. I don't care for her 1984 style regime methods of banning controversial literature like Mein Kampf and The Turner Diaries. I tried reading The Turner Diaries last year, but "Andrew MacDonald's" writing style proved to do nothing but debunk his theories of being of a superior race. It does, at least sound funny in a crazy way. I might read it through eventually. I've never read Mein Kampf, and don't think I will, my friend [Spaghetti Western] read it and said it was a terrible, incoherent rant that makes The Bible seem clear headed. And if I might say, short of the Quran, The Bible is one of the greatest pieces of hate literature ever, and hate literature that makes people believe in even worse things than "Jew conspiracies" and "mud people" yet [Bookshelves Inc.] stores carry them in bulk. Of course, that won't happen, because, despite the precept that [Jessica Weiss] doesn't want hate literature in her stores, she just doesn't want controversy. Take out The Bible which offends each and every group and individual in one way or another at least one time each, and there would be an uproar from the raving, ignorant, fantasy heads who love their Bibles.
She also banned books by conspiracy nutter, David Icke, who says that President Bush, Dick (what a subtle name) Cheney, Mr. Hillary Clinton, the Royal family, and of course, the prominent Jews who purportedly control the media are all actually reptilians trying to control the rest of us highly evolved primates. I've read some of his work, and I watched a few videos of his which started off quite plausibly, but then started venturing off into the ridiculous. I think all of those books should be made available. They won't need to go as far as having things such as, "Hate Lit Sales Day! All books with inflammatory statements are 30% off!" but just to have the books free to the public. If people are dumb enough to want to believe them, so be it, and other people can buy them to read and dispute or laugh at, where does she get off restricting access to them? Anyway, I didn't mean for this to become a diatribe against the big boss, but I had to give my 2 (constantly strengthening) Canadian cents.
Oh, and another thing, the [Jessica's Choices] thing she has going on is complete and utter bullshit. What it is, [Jessica Weiss] claims periodically that she's read certain books and has adored the hell out of them. The books are almost always books with a lot of hype to begin with. Critically acclaimed best sellers. It's rare for her to find some obscure book. Also, how many books does she read within that time that don't make the cut? And finally, what makes a woman who got a corporation given to her as a gift some sort of literary specialist? It's so artificial and impersonal. I mean, so is my work manner, but at least customers can see me in person.
But yeah, think about it.
