Saturday, August 09, 2008
A Gallow Birthday to me: Dark tea time for the soul.
"It's my party but I'm waiting for someone to start it. It's my party but there's blood on the ceiling, the carpet!" ~ Peeping Tom, Mojo
It's that time of the year again. Now, since my first birthday, the tradition's been for me to go out and ring the big bell in front of my isolated house on the hill. And once again, that's exactly what I did. The amount of times I ring the bell is in correspondence with my age. So today, I rang it twenty three times. You can do the math to guess how old I am. Normally, an over eager news crew invades my house and trepan me for any brain juice containing thoughts on birthdays, life, and death. Ironically, I always hear that the people who come to ask me about my life end up dead. This year, however, I waited day and night for them to come, but nobody showed up. I even wanted to throw them a party, which, believe me, is pretty out of the ordinary. I had everything, arsenic cake, anti-freezies, toe-nail cheesies, cyanide cider, and mouldy pizza. I had maggot confetti, bowel balloons, and even a human pinata. The pinata was the hardest to come by, I had to find a dwarf who would let me to stuff him full of candy and suspend with a meat hook for people to beat open. I rented a clown who told me he wanted to be the next John Wayne Gacy, I even had a tub of glue made from a pony I rented five years earlier. Nothing though, nobody came. I had to eat the cake all on my own, share cigarettes with Pedo The Clown, and constantly tell him that I didn't invite anyone under the age of eighteen over. He then asked me if any of them had children.
It was only a matter of time before I grew tired of him, slit his throat and stuffed his penis (which turned out to be a balloon folded into the shape of one) down his throat. People like that disgust me. They should be kept as far away from children as possible, put in registries where everybody in the neighbourhood knows who they are, given pink vests in prison, and given gas which rots their flesh. Clowns are the scum of the earth. Jorge the dwarf complained about his back, so I busted him open and snacked on the candies which came raining out of every bloody gash.
Now it's normally a journalist's job to prod me for my thoughts on this, that, and whatever but nobody came. So I guess today you'll just get it straight from the source, no filters. People tend to interpret me in all sort of ways, so news you get of me is probably highly distorted. I will give you the opportunity to misperceive me for yourself. A one time offer, my friends.
So I'm twenty three. I sure don't feel it. For quite some time, I've been a cross of a five year old, and a fifty year old. I suppose I will never feel my age until I do turn fifty. And even then it'll probably be something else. I'll probably think I'm twenty five and start buying sports cars, leave my wife (if I dare to get married) and casually copulate with Korean super-models and dominatrixes. Or the notch might get turned back even further and I may find myself in a crib, in a diaper, drooling all over myself. Only time will tell. Till then, and until death, I live day by day trying to make some sense out of this thing. Though the answer I almost always come back to is that it makes no sense, and that people try to make sense out of it with delusions such as fairy tales, work, relationships, and politics which are all fine and good with me.
I wish I was never conceived though I sure don't wish I were dead. So I'll occupy myself with things to make it all go down that much easier. I do wish to accomplish more, shoot for the sky, and, as my emotionally distant and out of touch father often tells me - not deceive myself. Though I guess that's exactly what I am doing anyway, by pretending any of this means something and enjoying it. Ambivalence is a splendid thing. A life of apathy would just be vacuous.
It seems that a lot of my life has to do with dwelling on death. Not that I am a death monger, even though I am a staunch supporter of abortions, euthanasia, and the death penalty. But I often find humour in certain deaths which I find ironic or absurd, I often contemplate the ramifications of the deaths or pending deaths of others, and I am always curious about how I and when I'll die and what I will accomplish before that. I want to live long, but only if I have my dignity, though sometimes I wonder if I should try to live as long as I can, even being reduced to nothing but a mound of flesh connected to a melange of machinery just so I can say I outlived my enemies and detractors. But I often think of immortality as being utterly boring. There is only so much somebody can enjoy out of life. After a while, you'd just want to spend eternity banging your head against a wall.
I can't say I get why the idea of heaven appeals to people. An eternity of lobotomized bliss? I'll pass. Eternal tabula rasa is more my kind of thing. I have to say, that as a Christian, I did enjoy the idea of believing the people I didn't like would roast in hell while I sat in heaven sipping Piña coladas, but I don't need that sort of satisfaction anymore. I can just give them hell on earth.
Oh! Someone's at the door!
See everyone in hell!
posted at 11:59 PM | Permanent Link
Friday, July 18, 2008
Hot and bothered
I think I'm going to start spending my summers in Siberia. It was 34 degrees Celsius here today, felt like Fahrenheit 451. Traipsing outdoors, the sun rained hellfire upon me and fried up my brain like eggs on drugs. To make matters worse, it was humid, air so thick you have to chew it to inhale it, it's like walking through stew. By the time I got home, I was steaming hot and everything inside of me seemed to be swirling. It was as if I had just come back from jogging up a mountain only to be chased all the way back down by a cougar. From then on, I felt lethargic. My brain is on slow-mo, I think that thick air seeped into my head. An internal body waxing would be more pleasant. Weather like this should be illegal.
The weather left me not wanting to do a single thing, it made me wish I'd been aborted. I just had to lie in bed with everything swirling around and inside of me, staring, hearing impish laughter in my head, feeling defeated and intellectually impotent. The summer usually does slow down my productivity. Which, I mean, to be fair, most people in the summer don't care to do anything major anyway. It's supposed to be the time to act like a buffoon and sleep until noon. But if I'm not doing anything creative or at least saying I have something in the works, I get antsy. I want to do something, but the heat makes them seem unpleasant.
Some people like summer, because concomitant with the heat come the summer movies, most of them lately featuring superheroes. The new Batman movie's been released today, I'm not really a fan of superheroes or superhero movies. I doubt I will like this better than Tim Burton's Batman Returns which did not at all feel like a superhero movie to me, but rather a surreal black comedy. The villain in it was The Penguin, played by Danny Devito. When Max Shreck proposed he run for office, he said that his big issue could be to "End global warming, start global cooling!" I'm all for that. Now, I'm... an agnostic when it comes to global warming, but I'll do whatever it takes to diminish heat. If I were an American, and any of the presidential candidates made global cooling their main platform, they would have my vote immediately. They could put the last stakes in their economy, spread their military out so much that a Mickey Mouse military like Canada's could march right in and have a 10 minute coup d'etat, they could legalize cannibalism and bestiality, I wouldn't care, as long as they got rid of heat for good.
Welp...
See everyone in hell (it's cooler there than it is here)!
posted at 2:39 AM | Permanent Link
Monday, June 23, 2008
Another one bites the dust (George Carlin)
Source: The Globe and Mail
People die every day. It certainly is a strange and fascinating phenomenon; death. Everybody's lives ultimately revolve around death. Whether people choose to produce memes, spread genes, or sit around eating nachos and wanking and playing World of Warcraft all day, people do everything they can to make life worthwhile until time runs out. Since death is such a natural part of life, it's never surprising to hear that somebody dies. No one is guaranteed much in life. They may not be guaranteed wealth, fame, the spouse they want, kids they like, or even happiness. Though, at the end of it all, everybody can rest assured that they will rest in peace. But yet, I'll take this moment to comment on the death of George Carlin. I just discovered this news, and find it very unfortunate.
From The Globe and Mail:
LOS ANGELES -- Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday, a spokesman said. He was 71.Carlin, who had a history of heart and drug-dependency problems, died at Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. local time (9 p.m. ET) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters.
Upon discovering the news, I said to myself, "This is a joke, right?" But, it settled in that it was the real deal. I can literally list the few stand-up comedians I actually like: George Carlin, Bill Maher, Bill Hicks, and Dave Chappelle. Michael Richards split my sides with his grand performance in November 2006. But that's only one act he had. But George Carlin was one of the greatest of the greats, in my opinion, and it's only that.
I found his acts hilarious and incisive. With his barbed wit, he tackled one of the most prevalent threats to our environment; bullshit. From dissecting silly semantics, to tearing the absurdity of faith and religion to shreds, to ridiculing the banality of life and consumerism, to skewering the political circus with his stark skepticism. And of course, his doses of vitriol were always seasoned with "shits", "fucks", and dirty jokes.
He was one of the true free thinkers, and a man who wasn't ashamed to admit he didn't believe in anything.
I got to see him perform almost exactly two years ago. I got my fair share of knee slappers. There was a lot I have learned from his technique and from his bluntness, though I of course will never be able to carbon copy it, nor would I want to. As I said of Kurt Vonnegut, as I've said of many, as I hope someone will say of me, I don't think George Carlin will miss this place very much. It's interesting while it lasts, but once it's over, there's no need to go back for more.
George Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008)
posted at 3:01 AM | Permanent Link
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Grimm Fandango!
So my friend [Drilbitt Darko] notified me that a game titled American McGee's Grimm is coming out on July 31st on Game Tap (and hopefully Xbox Live Arcade). It's apparently going to be an adventure game split into 24 weekly episodes where you revisit the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm. Only, things have gone horribly wrong; everything in the world has become PLEASANT! It will be up to the player to restore darkness and misery to the world. It seems like it will be fun and hilarious, though I admit, I will be cautious with my hopes. American McGee as a gaming "auteur" is pretty hit or miss. I liked his debut project "American McGee's" Alice mostly for its dark atmosphere. It had great environments and great music. A dark, demented, and surreal take on the classic tale. The game was lacking though. The gameplay was absolutely pedestrian, and it was devoid of humour. It was basically something pretty to look at, and not much else. It's now in the works of being made into a movie which promises to be a nightmare, but for the wrong reasons. It's currently set to be directed by whitebread director Marcus Nispel. He's known for directing the forgettable remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
He made a few other games which did little to tickle my fancy. The latest one I played was Bad Day L.A. My brother got it from who knows where. But the game tried to be too funny and came across as obnoxious doing so. The gameplay was a joke, funnier than the ones that they tried to execute in the game, but that's not saying much.
So I'll see about Grimm. I will at least try one episode out. I owe them that much. I'm a huge Brothers Grimm fanatic. Needless to say, I take great influence from them. They're the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grand daddies of black humour. Reading their stories tickle me black and blue. Their utter imagination, the way things don't always workout for the characters, the way the... grimmest things can happen yet still be told with the sweetness and elegance of a gingerbread house is legendary. I can only wish I had their skills in crafting wickedly funny tales of woe and wonder. From stories of dimwits taking men off the gallows and sitting them by the fire because they look cold, to stories of mice jumping into soup only to stop short and have their fur and skin singe before making it in, to stories of women requesting their husbands be buried alive with them if they die before them, to the original versions of the sanitized Disney animations. Yes, the original version of Cinderella where her wicked step-sisters chopped their toes off to fit into the glass slippers, and where in Little Red Riding Hood, the big bad wolf is hacked to death and his brother drowns trying to seek vengeance upon Red.
As my co-worker [Olga Leichenbestatter] once said, "Everybody dies in German Fairy Tales"
Nobody can beat them. The only person I can think of who, in the last century, came close to them was Roald Dahl. Edward Gorey could do it too, but he had his flavour. Tim Burton can capture it in his movies, when he's on the ball.
Speaking of movies, I refuse to watch that movie Terry Gilliam did of them starring the late Heath Ledger. It looks atrocious, way too... silly. Terry Gilliam, like American McGee, is really hit or miss. But again, I'll find out at the end of July.
Finding out about this has been in good time, because just a few weeks ago, I pulled out my collection of Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales and have been reading a tale or two a night, laughing myself to sleep. The game will hopefully be just the right amount of chocolate to go with the blood.
In other news, I have a somewhat complete draft of [Obscure Opus] done. This is my umpteenth draft, and I'm fairly confident in it. I am going to need to go back and fill in some gaps. A lot of parts I left myself little "will finish later" chunks, so I need to polish those over, and I also need to do some more research and legitimize those parts which feature facts, or quasi facts. Amazing what happens when you write about characters who know things you know absolutely nothing about. But as one character in the novel would say, "It's a business."
But at least, the way I have it now, is that if I were to drop dead, somebody could pick it up, and have a grasp of the story.
Oh, and to follow up with this entry's politically charged predecessor, I should express my elation that my "homeboy" Barack Obama won the nomination. It was the inevitable, I'd say 4 months ago, but now it's all but concrete. A few hours ago, he got the much awaited nod from Al Gore. I don't think John McCain has much of a chance. I was right on my speculation that his primary platform is not being Barack Obama. He's modelled his website to resemble Obama's logo, and he even plagiarized his slogan. Where Obama's slogan is "Change we can believe in", McCain's is, "A leader we can believe in." On Barack Obama's nomination night, McCain gave that atrocious speech in front of a lime green background where he punctuated his lines with, "that's not change we can believe in! Heh! Heh! Heh!" He also can't resist messing up. Whether it's mistaking Sunni and Shiia, or direly contradicting himself. He's a disaster, and I sort of feel sorry for him... when I'm not laughing.
As well, I was close to right with my speculations about Bob Barr, he was my second choice of who I thought would win the nomination for the Libertarian party. He's got a very low chance of winning, but I hope he will suck away votes from John McCain, and also help increase the viability of the Libertarian party, even if it's just by a bit. Ron Paul's apparently having a rally of his own which will be held on the direly dismal convention for the Republican Party this year. It's being held for disenfranchised republicans who have little in common with what the party stands for these days. I'm not sure, but I think it may also be working as a rally for the Libertarian party, boosting Barr. The only thing I ever liked about the party was its emphasis on fiscal conservatism, but that's been sent down the crapper. I sure as hell didn't care for the paradoxical philosophy of admonishing aborting fetuses but condoning the slaughter of people of other nations for unjust and uneconomical reasons. And of course, the evangelical pandering was rather nauseating. They've become way too fascistic and paradoxical. From having people like William F. Buckley and George Will as their leading intellectuals, they've turned to ignorant blow hards like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and the whole Fox Brigade. It's my theory that those dimwits don't actually believe in what they're saying and they're just irresponsibly saying what their crazy viewers want them to say to generate ratings.
Oh well, "It's a business!"
See everyone in hell!
posted at 12:46 AM | Permanent Link
Friday, May 16, 2008
Politically Incorrect
Holy hell!
It's been a while, kids! Two whole months since I've made a deposit to the Gallowmere thought bank. It hasn't been that I've been intellectually impoverished. Sometimes the reason as to why I don't make posts here is because I very well am intellectually broke.
This time, however, it's simply neglect. I've been getting some things done here and there which should be pretty beneficial, and which I hope to make public soon enough. Also, I've been spending loads of my time having affairs with other people's novels, and playing Grand Theft Auto 4, I admit, I wasn't that crazy about the ones which came out the last generation, this one is a major step up. The story is what gets me, and its phenomenal satire. It's really addictive and immersive, but possibly over-hyped. I have almost exclusively done the missions, and have yet to explore the "sandbox" features of virtually fucking prostitutes, running over them, and getting my money back. The rest of my time has been spent embracing my political junkie habits.
In past posts I've made little political musings, making fun of political figures and inserting colourful candor on what I'd do if I woke up to find myself as the President of the United States of America or even more preferably, some sort of world dictator. Considering this, and finding myself obsessively keeping up with the mainstream media's coverage of the 2008 Presidential race, I figured I as might as well weigh in on where I lightly stand.
First off, I have to comment that I find it deeply embarrassing (though I'm not sure on which end) that I'm 99.9% more interested in American politics than I am in Canadian politics. Canada is where I reside and where I was born. And I would rather live in Canada than America any day, Canada's much less exciting than America is, but it's also a lot less fucked. But things being fucked and things being exciting go hand in hand I guess. Canadian news, politics, and media are only useful as sedatives. The major undertone I get from the political scene is, "Should we be the 51st state(Conservative), or show we try and carve out our bland national identity(Liberal)?"
I've been into politics since 1996 when I was in the sixth grade and my class kept up with the race between Bill Clinton and Bob Dole. For Social Studies we kept up with American politics, and learned a lot of the terminology. The icing was put on the cake when I got to visit Washington DC that summer.
Back then I didn't have any political affiliation. I liked Bill Clinton, because he seemed like a "nice guy", and I never saw what business of the nation it was that the President got a blowjob in the oval office. In 2000 when I was in an American High School, I had an excellent English teacher, [Mrs. Pacino] who themed our course on Libertarian Literature. In her class I was introduced to Vonnegut (I still shed an imaginary tear for the guy). Vonnegut was a socialist, but he wrote the anti-egalitarian satire Harrison Bergeron. We read short stories about corporal punishment, corrupt schools, and transcending stereotypes. We also read the dystopian novels Fahrenheit 451 and 1984. 2000, the turn of the millennium was an election year. It also marked the beginning of things going to shit for America. My teacher was Pro-Bush, because she was all for limited government which is what Bush, that societal virus, that dimwit, that two-bit Texan, that doubletalking fucktard was all about in his election. I admit, I liked the idea of less government and a less controlled state. Yet, I didn't like Bush. I still didn't align myself with a political party. I used to say he's a "scary guy" who would want to go around the world picking fights and starting wars to try and impress his daddy. Who'd think I'd ever be right about anything?
Teachers of mine have either really hated me or really loved me, and [Mrs. Pacino] was one of the ones who fell into the latter. She was a great lady (not because she loved me, honest!) but I bet now she must have shoved that Bush 2000 pin right through her heart. Her whole class was all about limited government, anti-censorship, privacy, freedom of thought, individuality, and all that libertarian jazz. Yet the man she voted for and whose name she wore on her chest turned out to be a fascist of the worst kind, choking the juice out of America and not to mention the world. Him and his camarilla headed by puppet master Dick Cheney. He proposed the Patriot Act, having people snitch on each other if they're being possibly "unpatriotic". Giving authorities the right to listen in on your phone calls and see what you're checking out from the library. I mean, to be fair, if I had my phone calls listened in on, they would only be treated to a load of nonsense, but it's my right to not want third parties listening in on me as I give a friend advice on getting rid of a bad case of crabs.
He said he was a "uniter, not a divider" yet America now seems more divided than ever. Though, to his credit, he has united Americans in his own disapproval. His approval rating is around 22%. I'm sure he hasn't scored that low since his college days.
He's a compassionate conservative who handled 9/11 like a drunken first grader, and couldn't even locate Louisiana on the map during urricane Katrina.
And most of all, I thought Republicans were supposed to like money, but now America's facing a major recession. Their economy's gone to shit. Everybody's going broke except for oil barons. And people have to think, he comes from a family which has its roots in the oil business. He gets elected, and the price of oil skyrockets. Coincidence? I think not. Now their dollar's in the stinker. That one affects me on a mundane level because now that their dollar is pretty much leveled with the Canadian Dollar I get an onslaught of half educated customers coming into my store to upbraid me and my coworkers about US/Canadian prices. Also, now that their dollar sucks, I won't be getting as much for my books the fine day my royalty cheques come in. I'm a capitalist pig, I'll admit it, so I'm more than pissed off about their economy falling since I depend on theirs more than I depend on the Canadian economy. Prime reason, I have a strong interest in ideas, and intellectual property is not Canada's richest resource.
People put him in office twice... TWICE! Because he's a gristle-head just like most Americans. He's the guy they could have a beer with as opposed to the eggheads he was up against in 2000 and 2004. Let's be frank, macho assholes are more fun to be around than pragmatic eggheads. Cold hard facts are normally not what people want. People want to have a good time. Action movies with tenuous plots and lots of explosions and CGI do much better than documentaries or movies with thought provoking stories. And George Dubya, the party boy Texas cowboy is more of the kind of guy Tom Nobody can relate to. I have friends who are gristle-heads and I admit, they're fun to be around... in small doses. But more things can be accomplished with the eggheads, the pragmatists, the responsible people.
Though, if I had it my way, I'd make it so that stupid people wouldn't be able to vote. In order to vote, people should be given tests each term where they answer questions regarding policy. They would be asked questions about the ideologies of political parties, chiefly the ones they're registering for.
I've heard people say they want to vote for Hillary Clinton because she's a woman. So what, though? So was Maggie Thatcher, and look how kind and maternal she was. If a vagina equipped people with finer deductive judgment abilities, more women would've known to not sleep with dumb Joe schmoes off the street and have their babies. And more recently, it has become obvious that during the democratic primaries, she's become the favourite amongst "White working class voters with no education" especially ones who live in "rural areas". In other words, she's secured the redneck vote. She seems damn proud of it too, she as much as said in interviews. Good for you, Hillary! You know how to appease to one of the most repugnant of constituencies! I mean I'm sure there is a niche of people of that demographic who are actually half decent, but, to do some Jeff Foxworthy shtick: "If you're white, working class, live in a rural area, cling to guns and religion, and think Barack Obama's an African sleeper cell double agent related to Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden... you might be a redneck." I don't think Hillary herself is a redneck, even though she sure as hell plays the redneck game to court their votes. She even goes as far as trying (to borrow a line from The Wasp Factory) to "out-man those around [her]". Talking about shooting guns with her dad and immediately "obliterating" Iran. She tries to paint her democratic opponent Obama as a pansy because he wants to be diplomatic. She relentlessly throws dirt at a candidate who's in her own party. And one of her endorsers went as far as to claim that she has "testicular fortitude". A label that she was happy to accept. Having macho assholes in the office is what got us into this mess. If I can go off on a tangent, I have to say, I never got the concept of feminazism when it equates women acting like they're as big of dicks as some of the most reprehensible men can be. What progress. And to top it off, she'll pull all that macho bullshit, but then show that she can cry like a dear matriarch.
I don't really hate her I guess. But I'm not the most fond of her. She voted for the Iraq war and only came out against it later when she figured she would need a platform. I don't know how good her judgment is just for that. And I don't trust her motives. I will at least give it to her that as she has come to the realization that her campaign clock is ticking and ticking pretty damn loud, she's starting to show signs of relent. I just hope she doesn't get picked as VP though, she'll probably try to poison Barack's tea, or something.
And yes, I admit have some "bitterness" towards her because I am a self confessed Obama supporter. 
I like Barack Obama. I don't even know why. I'm not really an Obamaniac, but I like what he stands for. Though the fact that there are Obamaniacs says a lot. For a change, he's a candidate that people who support him actually like. For a while, it's only been that people would vote for the candidate who wasn't "the other guy". I'm sure that McCain voters will mostly be voting for him because he's the Republican, or because he's not Barack Obama.
Reasons I'm for the guy are: I like some of his approaches to foreign policy; ending the war in Iraq as soon as possible, and actually trying to be more diplomatic with "enemies". He seems good on social liberties, though, of course, he will be raising taxes and possibly instituting more government funded programs, and he supports things like affirmative action which is a menacing form of egalitarianism, and something which sacrifices the legitimacy of people who do work hard to get where they're going. But I've bought into his buzzwords of "change" and "hope". Also, while he is African American, or at least 50% African American, he does very little to make an issue of it. Which is refreshing. The race card is played out. Platform-wise he's a close to Billary McClinton, but at least he's not as much of a special interest whore. And I think he'll stick more to his word over Hillary Clinton, the master panderer. Also, when he is wrong about things, he doesn't turn on the spin machine as much as Hillary does. Of course he's full of shit about some things. In almost any job, you have to be full of shit to a certain degree. Lying is an essential behaviour of survival, like eating and fucking. I'm full of shit in my day job. If I could be honest, I would have given loads of customer lip, constantly saying, "The customer his seldom right!" and I would insult the loads of shlock and hokum they bring up to the counter. And in writing, I'm almost 100% full of shit as I am doing nothing but making things up from page to page. It's only when things cross the lines of ethics and venture to the territory of deceit where things go wrong.
Some of his bullshit came back to bite him in the ass with the Reverend Wright imbroglio. I think he's an atheist or agnostic, first of all. I have no evidence, only a hunch. Just the fact that his dad was a Muslim turned atheist, and his mother was an agnostic. He's all for separation of church and state, and at least acknowledges atheists and "nonbelievers" as people unlike daddy Bush who said he doesn't think atheists should be considered Americans. Finally, when asked of his faith, all he said was, "I'm a member of Trinity United Church." Not a Christian. Hell, I'm still technically a member of [Mount Hopeful] Seventh-Day Adventist church even though I don't believe in any of that, and haven't been there in years. Being a member of something is different from believing in it. But it's only a hunch. People have made all kinds of claims about him based on hunches, lunacy, or downright malice, and I won't dignify them by repeating them. I think that the reason he found membership in a prominent black church was as a means of political expediency. Let's face it, most people in America are of religious faith, and the faith most people normally are of is Christian. So I'm guessing that he joined the church to kill 2 birds with one stone; to show religious membership, and for street credentials with the black community so that he wouldn't seem out of touch. I don't blame him for that, no harm is done in feigning religious faith. Yet, Vonnegut comes to mind again. In his novel Mother Night, there's a line "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." A lot of people are now going to associate him with the ridiculous thoughts of his racist, antisemitic, and downright loony megalomaniac of a pastor. It will haunt him come fall when he's up against the GOP, and possibly his 2012 election should he win this one.
Yet if I were an American Citizen, even though I do have a soft spot for Barack Obama, and know and "hope" that at the end of the day, he's more than likely going to win the presidency, I'd have to vote for the nominee of the Libertarian party which is looking most like Wayne Root. though Bob Barr seems like a viable candidate. However, I'm not sure how Libertarian it is to try and have a man impeached because he was getting oral in the Oval Office.
I really liked Ron Paul who is a Libertarian running as a Republican. Sort of how Hillary is a Republican running under the guise of a Democrat. Ron Paul comes across as a bit of a kook, and I don't doubt that I do too. So of course, a lot of his views coalesce with mine. He wanted less taxes, more civil liberties, doing away with stupid government sanctioned organizations (the MPAA and FCC would definitely be in there), ending the war in Iraq, and having a less imperialistic/less interventionist foreign policy.
But John McCain, a man whose name always makes me think about that Canadian brand of tacky heatable eatables (which I am known to eat more often than not) won the GOP nomination. He's lost his mind. He's beaten and worn out. In 2000, I liked him when he was the Republican candidate against George Dubya. I think he's a good man, and a war hero who's been through some tough shit. If he won the nomination back in 2000 and went on to win the election, I don't think America would have been in the mess that it's in now. But now, he's put in a tight spot. He can do nothing but pander if he wants to win this election. But now, he wants to continue the war, carry out Dubya's policies, and his so-called differences from his Republican predecessor are dubious. His views on the economy are embarrassing. I guess they would be when he gets to live off of the wealth of his young(er) trophy wife. He hasn't really been getting attacked much because of the big (but waning) competition between Obama and Clinton. A lot of people, especially in Canada seem to genuinely think or have at least thought that the entire election was exclusively between Obama and Clinton and that other people were like third party runners. More people are interested in those prospects than the old war vet. Once the spotlight is on him, his blemishes will start to show. He's got his share of dirt which is pretty much being ignored only because of the sensationalism of the Obama/Clinton battle. I'm not very worried about him at the moment. Hel'l probably keel over before it reaches November, anyway, and people will be voting presumably for Romney and his Magic Mormon underwear or maybe it'll be Cunnilingus Rice who can be the Republicans' answer to the titillating idea of a black and a female running for office; she's both in one neoconservative package. Throw in the fact that she may or may not be a closeted homosexual, and the Republican Party suddenly has the facade of being the more progressive half of the party of one since the days of when Lincoln freed the slaves and a group of democrats started the KKK.
In America, and maybe even in my country, they should hold a referendum. One where the only way people can vote is by proving they know what they're voting for. It would mean when people register to vote they would have to understand the voting process. There should also be larger attention given to the other political parties. And most of all, for god's sake, I hope campaigning will one day stop being the Hollywood farce it is nowadays in America. I find it entertaining, yet ridiculous at the same time. I mean, at the end of the day, maybe that has a lot to do with why I gravitate more towards their political news than Canadian political news which is so remote.
I admit, last year when I voted, I didn't know much about the parties I was given choices to vote for, the only reason I voted is because people who I see who don't vote are usually just ignorant slackers. So I voted, but I submitted a spoiled ballot. Then there are people who don't vote are the whacked out conspiracy nuts. I mean, I'll be the first to admit, most of my views are far from ordinary. But if you hear what some people have to say, or if you dare to search the underbellies of the internet, you'll find some startling theories. My favourite has to be the reptilian agenda. My niece's mother is religiously invested in that lunacy. Every time I see her, she has a new conspiracy theory to share. She and my brother were both victims of the [Lunatarian Religio-philosophico-politico Sect] which had some kooky ideas. That religion was a pastiche of many religions, new age philosophies, conspiracy theories and mysticism. Somebody whose ideas the cult leader adapted from was David Icke whose school of thought professes, "the more outlandish the claim, the truer it is!" When I asked her what her thoughts were, she said she doesn't even bother watching the news because it's already preset for Hillary Clinton the Reptilian overlord to win. And when she wins she's going to initiate the new world order, one where people are microchipped, and there will be robot police patrolling every corner of the streets. The democratic nomination is slipping from beneath her feet more and more every day, but I won't get ahead of myself and say there's no chance in hell that she can win the nomination still. But I doubt my conspiracy nut ex-sister in law knows that. I would like to see where America gets the money to fund such programs, unless she's implying the reptilians are actually the Chinese who are currently picking up America's massive tab. I hope she doesn't think that. I'll leave her to not voting, uninformed people shouldn't vote. Being a Libertarian, I am highly skeptical of big government. What convinces me more than anything that the earth hasn't been hijacked by reptilians? Because most governments are inept! People in general are dufuses and power whores. If you put them in power, these features are magnified. It's the same the same thing that happens when you see idiots getting instantly rich, they do things like buy spinning rims for their cars, and TV screens in their toilet bowls and snort coke all day. They become overwhelmed and do things just because they can. This war was nothing but a cock flexing done exercise by a bunch of indifferent chicken hawks and avaricious oil barons.
Oh, one more law I would make: If you're in my generation (18-35) and you support this ridiculous war, or if you vote in support of the war, and you're fit to join the army, then you should be automatically drafted upon dropping your ballet. There's no reason as to why you shouldn't be out there risking your life if you're willing to have other people your age do so. And if you're not in good enough shape, then you should donate yourself to an alternative fuel plant. That would solve America's fuel problem, fix the overpopulation problem, and also help boost its economy! Soylent Fuel! Oh, and it would also help improve the gene pool. Win win win!
See everyone in hell!
posted at 2:30 AM | Permanent Link
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